Mouthful of Platinum

The screams are coming from inside of my head.

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I could watch you watch your reflection in my sunglasses ALL DAY LONG.

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more mouthful of platinum

Don't pledge allegiance to Satan with your mouth full, honey.

Honesty is the best policy if you don't want to get laid. Honesty is the best policy if you want to remain celibate.

Million-dollar idea: A mobile sex lair disguised as an ambulance.

Jesus he knows me, and he knows I'm right.

Cleanliness is next to godliness on the list of things that I failed to accomplish today.

PBR sure dodged a bullet when blue ribbons weren't chosen to represent cirrhosis awareness.

Tell me again why there aren't any death metal songs about Mother's Day brunch.

Failure is implicit in the slightest of my movements. Don't ask me to shoot pool.

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