Mouthful of Platinum

I don't know what I'm thinking, but I like the way that I think.

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You say it's love, but I say you're suffering from Stockholm Syndrome.

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more mouthful of platinum

It's always Dump the Body in the Reservoir Hour somewhere.

If you say "foodgasm" in my presence, they will never find your body. Ever.

A cautionary tale about the consequences of shopping while horny.

Even though it has been difficult, I have finally learned to accept the things about myself that I'm too lazy to change.

Even unique snowflakes melt eventually.

Motion to rename winter "Help! I'm trapped in a dystopian snow globe with Soul Asylum!"

We'll leave the black light on for you.

Nothing says "I deserve to earn less" quite like having a vagina.

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