Mouthful of Platinum

I don't know what I'm thinking, but I like the way that I think.

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"Just Add Alcohol" is implicit in my appearance.

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more mouthful of platinum

I'm not losing my mind, I'm gaining insanity.

Get out of my altered state of consciousness and into my straitjacket.

Tell me again why there aren't any death metal songs about Mother's Day brunch.

You took the words right out of my vagina!

WARNING: Never make direct eye contact while eating corn on the cob.

Beauty is but a light switch away.

If these bathroom walls could talk, they wouldn't. They'd scream.

Playing Rush at deafening levels is my sock on the doorknob.

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