Mouthful of Platinum

So this is what it feels like to be Jesus.

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"Just Add Alcohol" is implicit in my appearance.

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more mouthful of platinum

I'll never forget the day Dad took a sledgehammer to the water main.

Even though it has been difficult, I have finally learned to accept the things about myself that I'm too lazy to change.

It's always Dump the Body in the Reservoir Hour somewhere.

At least she left the waterbed.

If you say "foodgasm" in my presence, they will never find your body. Ever.

It looks like I've accidentally dressed for the job I have.

A cautionary tale about the consequences of shopping while horny.

If these bathroom walls could talk, they wouldn't. They'd scream.

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