Mouthful of Platinum

So this is what it feels like to be Jesus.

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Every time Tonya Harding trims her bangs, a meth lab explodes.

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more mouthful of platinum

Life is like a box of chocolates that's been left in the sun all day long.

WARNING: Never make direct eye contact while eating corn on the cob.

"Just Add Alcohol" is implicit in my appearance.

I will always have a special place in my heart for loathing wind chimes.

Nothing says "I deserve to earn less" quite like having a vagina.

Those who can't do, teach. Those who can't ninja, mime.

No one can escape the power of agape love, my son.

Have we or have we not stumbled upon an earthly paradise?

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