Mouthful of Platinum

Quick! Somebody distract Jesus!

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Don't pledge allegiance to Satan with your mouth full, honey.

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more mouthful of platinum

Beauty is but a light switch away.

You say it's love, but I say you're suffering from Stockholm Syndrome.

I can't help but suspect that the selection of magazines in a waiting room is some sort of a test.

If it requires making direct eye contact, there's a 100% chance I've never done it.

And this is how I discovered that I think off-key.

Jesus he knows me, and he knows I'm right.

I got a bill in my mouth like I'm Hillary Rodham.

If you say "foodgasm" in my presence, they will never find your body. Ever.

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