Mouthful of Platinum

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I will always have a special place in my heart for loathing wind chimes.

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more mouthful of platinum

At least she left the waterbed.

I'm going to make a terrible person one day.

I am the Ron Jeremy of spilling high viscosity condiments on myself.

I hate to burst the perpetual "ME!" thought bubble over your head, but ...

If you lived here, you'd be filled with residual Catholic guilt by now.

Family is the glue that holds my insanity together.

Moral victories don't appear in the win column.

"Just Add Alcohol" is implicit in my appearance.

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