Mouthful of Platinum

This definitely won't backfire spectacularly.

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I hate to burst the perpetual "ME!" thought bubble over your head, but ...

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more mouthful of platinum

I'm going to make a terrible person one day.

I could watch you watch your reflection in my sunglasses ALL DAY LONG.

You're never drinking alone. Jesus is always with you.

Even unique snowflakes melt eventually.

I will always have a special place in my heart for loathing wind chimes.

Age ain't nothing but a number of reasons I need another drink.

You say it's love, but I say you're suffering from Stockholm Syndrome.

My escape route goes by your house. Twice.

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